Friday, April 30, 2010

New Friend/Friday Follow - Application To Date My Daughter

I posted this some time ago, but I thought I would put it back up for those that never got the chance to read it. Since I have four daughters I think I am going to have to make a lot of copies of this!


APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER(S)

Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.


1. Name :____________________Date of Birth :_______________ 


2. Height :__________Weight :___________GPA :__________ 


3. Social Sec. #______________Drivers license#_____________

4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________ 


5. Home address :_________________City/State______________

6. Do you own a van ?_____ A truck with oversized tires ?_____ A water bed ?____

7. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______ 


(If yes to any of #6 or #7, Discontinue application and leave premises ... 


8. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________ 


9. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________ 


10. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________________________________________________

11. Church you attend :_________________________________

How often you attend :_______________ 


12. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? _______

13. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential 
(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________ 


The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________ 


(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, 
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT, NOT TO MENTION THE SHOT GUN I OWN!

Signature (that means your name, moron)___________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if 
you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be 
notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD



Friday Follow


The Girl Creative
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21 comments

  1. As the mother of four boys, I must take issue with some of your triage requirements.

    Some of my boys have pierced ears. They're still harmless. Geeks, you understand. Perhaps piercings can be mitigated by slide rule ownership or 4.0 GPAs?

    And all of my boys are non-theists. That doesn't mean they're dangerous. I could argue the "preacher's son" phenomenon here.

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  2. That application is so funny and at times SOO true! Thanks for sharing that! I am a new follower from Friday Follow, so glad to have found your blog. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    Eloise
    Mommy2TwoGirls
    http://mommy2twogirls.blogspot.com/

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  3. Stopping by from new friend friday! - Mandy, www.craftedition.blogspot.com - - I'm also a mom of 4, but they're all little - not even thinking about dating, yet....

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  4. Stopping by from The Girl Creative’s New Friend Friday. Already a follower.

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  5. Too funny! :)

    I'm a new follower from Friday Follow, please follow back. Thanks! :)

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  6. I have two granddaughters. I can use this. I do like the oldest granddaughters boyfriend. He's a keeper.

    Have a terrific day and weekend. Big hug. :)

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  7. HAHAH! LOVE the app!

    Thanks for finding me...I'm now following you!! Super jazzed we found one another!

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  8. I refuse to even consider the possibility that I will ever let my daughter date boys.

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  9. Too funny. What will I do when my daughter gets old enough to worry???!
    I am following your blog from follow Friday!

    Scarlet
    http://www.momswearyourtees.blogspot.com

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  10. Visiting from NFF. Love the "If I were shot..." question!
    amanda @ myramblings.ca

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  11. Oyoyoyoyoy! That's a hard one. I don't think anybody will be left standing :)
    I should make a copy for my brother in law; they have triplet girls that are seven and another two year old...

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  12. HAHAHA That's too funny. My daughters are not dating...ever... :)
    XOXO
    frenchy

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  13. This is too funny! I love it. I was going to say Happy FF and that I am your newest follower but based on this post, I'm afraid for you to see my latest post. Eek!

    FourthGradeNothing.com

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  14. hi there! found you at sandee's site... and i love this post!!! i have 2 girls and i could use this form IF AND WHEN i will finally allow them to date.

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  15. Hi, Lydia.

    You WON the Crate and Barrel vase AND I featured you on my blog today, but I can't find your email address anywhere.

    Would you please email me ASAP at lauraparingdown (at) gmail (dot) com?

    Thanks!
    Laura

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  16. That is a good one. Although my son is 13 and I'm not to excited about him dating either!♥

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  17. This is too funny and just the sort of questions we'll want to be asking in the future.

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  18. I'm a new follower!! Over from The product review place. You know something funny, I used to print these out in hs for guys who wanted to date me. I never ended up giving anyone any because I was such a chicken. Only online guys filled them out! LOL.

    here are my pages:

    The Holbert Household
    Color My World Photography + Design
    Portfolio
    All About Wesley

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  19. This is sooo funny!! I have 3 daughters, so I think I may need to copy this!

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  20. Very cute! I may have to save this for a later time when I have kids! I found you on Friday Follow!

    http://giveawaysforyou.blogspot.com/

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