Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 And Beyond

This has been such a crazy year. So many ups and downs. So many struggles. But, as the year ends I am grateful. Grateful for my family, our jobs, our health, our home and our love.

There are so many lessons I learned this year through the hard times and many things I want to take from the struggles.

Doctors failed my family this year:

My 7 year old was unofficially diagnosed with being Bipolar. After putting her on some of the worst, life changing medicine ever he left for vacation. No one returned our calls. I found other doctors. She is back on the same medicines she was before. She still just has anxiety.

After fighting my depression and anxiety for the last 8 months my doctor basically told me there was nothing more she could do because "her treatment" didn't work. She wouldn't even consider other medications, even though I am clearly struggling.

The economy and health care has failed my family.

Sometimes friends aren't meant to be around forever. Some may just be given to you to help through certain times in your life.

I have lost myself.

I am way too hard on myself.

Instead of making New Year's Resolutions I just want to learn from past mistakes to make 2011 the best year ever.

I WILL find a new doctor this year that will listen to me and take my needs into consideration, not just their ego. I DESERVE to feel 100 percent and not just grateful for feeling better.

I WILL listen to my own instincts about my daughter. I will always know more about her than anyone.

I AM GRATEFUL to have found a job after a long year. I will use this bit of money wisely so that we don't have to struggle so much in the upcoming year. It will also help to pay some of our medical bills because of our awful health insurance.

I WILL forgive and stop hurting from being abandoned from my best friend of 20 years. We have moved into different places in life. I thought our bond was worth fighting for. I guess she didn't.

My husband will always be the best friend I could ever ask for. He has been my rock, my soft place to land, my security and through all the hard times has loved me unconditionally. I love him more than I could ever possibly say.

I WILL make time for me. I have lost myself in motherhood. I have lost all that is feminine about myself due to my responsibilities and lack of time. I WILL TAKE THE TIME FOR ME.

I WILL get back to a healthy weight. I will eat healthy and be a good example to my girls.

Since it is a new year I will start if off by not being so hard on myself.

I will go back to the things that give me joy and a sense of self - like my blog!!




  1. Wishing you the best year yet and health and happiness. You are right about your own instincts and don't give up if one thing doesn't work, try another. If you make some time for yourself and taking care of you, you will have more energy and be better at taking care of others. All the best,

  2. Prayers for you and your family in the new year!

  3. Now you're talking Lydia. One step at a time and always a positive step, not a negative one. I see so much good in you. I really do.

    Have a terrific day and a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. Big hugs. :)

  4. Those are all great things you're going to do in 2011. I especially like the one about trusting your instincts when it comes to your daughter. I did that, and it finally got my son the medical care and response from the school that he needs. Happy New Year!

  5. Sometimes it's better to fix what you learned in the year past so that you may be better in the years ahead. Happy New Year!

  6. OH Lydia, reading those were just about me to a T!!!! except for the health insurance and dr. stuff, all the other stuff about you etc.. is me also!!!!!! Oh how I wish we lived close! I sure hope this is a better year for you and I both!!! from our lips to god's ears!!!!! we soooo need this!!! thank you for sharing! :) xoxo

  7. I am sorry you have had such a rough year. I hope 2011 is a fabulous year for all of you. Happy New Year!

  8. Aw, Lydia. I can relate to some of your struggles, particularly when it comes to identity and self and doubt. Your goals in 11 are a positive reaction to some negative experiences. I hope this year is filled with many good things for you and your family.


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